Proof of How Far We've Come

Photo taken from LA Progressive

I was forced out of the closet my freshman year of high school. At the turn of the 21st century, being LGBT was still seen by the vast majority of people to be wrong/sinful/gross, etc. So when somehow someone discovered that I was bisexual (to this day I'm not sure how this girl found out), she wasted no time in telling anyone who would listen. This led to several years of ridicule, mocking, bullying, etc...on top of all of the shit that I was already getting for not being popular/pretty/skinny/whatever else teenagers seem to think is unworthy.

It really wasn't until college that I felt fully accepted and loved for who I was. I lost friends in high school because of my sexuality, but in college I gained respect for being proud and open and I gained friends through my work with my college's GSA as well as other diversity clubs on campus. Today I am even prouder and more open than ever before. Some of this has to do with maturing, with living in a supportive environment during college, and with the fact that society has become more tolerant than ever before. Some of it also has to do with the initiatives around the country fighting for gay rights, the passage of marriage equality in New York State (and elsewhere), and the courage others around me (especially my trans-identified friends and acquaintances) have shown in the last several years.

I came across an interesting story on Dan Savage's blog last week that I wanted to share on this Monday morning. A high school in a traditionally conservative county in California named the only openly lesbian couple in their school to be "Cutest Couple" in their yearbook. I think that this is not only a demonstration of how far the LGBT community has come in just the last decade or so, it is also clear evidence of what several polls have found: namely, that younger people are more likely to be supportive of gay marriage.

A NY Times/CBS poll finds that it is still young people and those on the political left who are more likely to show moderate to strong support of same-sex marriage. The fact that this high school nominated a lesbian couple to be "Cutest Couple" doesn't surprise me, although it does give me hope. What would surprise me is if the older generations would finally move away from their homophobic "traditional marriage is sacred" bullshit and start learning acceptance from the younger generations.

I do feel as if same-sex marriage will one day be legalized on a national level, although it may take a long time for that to happen. Interracial marriage was once just as big of an issue (if not a bigger issue) than gay marriage and look at what happened there. I'm proud of this school and its students and I look forward, just like Dan Savage does, "to the day when stories like this don't shock us because 'values'—conservative or otherwise—is no longer synonymous with 'anti-gay.'"

I'd like to end by saying that in no way do I think that every student in that school supports this couple, nor am I saying that those who did vote for them are also automatically supporters of gay marriage. But I will say that these students now know an openly gay couple and have grown to know them over four years. One of the biggest indicators of whether or not someone will be supportive of a minority group and its rights is whether or not someone knows a member of that minority group. This is true for people in the LGBT community, as well as for other groups, like Muslims. Neil Patel and Pragya Kakani state that:

Improved knowledge of Islam and contact with Muslims, it stands to reason, could help ease tensions. According to a 2006 Gallup poll, most Americans do not know any Muslims personally. The same poll found that almost one in four Americans say they would not want a Muslim as a neighbor, and one in three would be nervous if they noticed a Muslim man boarding their flight. Personally knowing a Muslim, however, significantly correlates with a more favorable perception. [emphasis added]

Similarly, Lymari Morales says that:

Views of gay marriage are strongly related to ideology. But the increase in support among those who personally know someone who is gay or lesbian is not merely a reflection of the fact that liberals are more likely to know someone of same-sex orientation. Further analysis reveals that, when controlling for ideology, those who know someone who is gay or lesbian are significantly more supportive of gay marriage than are those of the same political persuasion who do not personally know someone who is gay or lesbian.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that as long as the LGBT community (or Muslims; or atheists; or liberals; or whatver) is visible, as long as we're introducing ourselves to people and building friendships and living by example and showing that we're not what everyone believes us to be, we will be more likely to be supported by those around us than if we were to hide who we are.

We've come a long way, but, as polls continue to show, we have a long way to go still. These two girls should be applauded for their courage and their strength and their schoolmates should be applauded for their support. 

Hats off to you, Calaveras High School!

-J